So...it's been a while. I didn't post a couple weeks ago because I didn't have time, and because I had nothing nice to say about Abby. I didn't post last week because I didn't have anything nice to say about Abby, and because I was reading a book in my 'spare' time instead. I still don't have much to say about Abby, and I would rather say nothing at all than put something on here that I will regret later. We just aren't getting along too well. And it all stems from the fact that she can't cry and can't talk. To compensate for that, she has discovered another 'outlet.' What she does instead is far worse than a screaming tantrum, in my opinion. I would much rather listen to her scream and cry than deal with what she does now. And she's been doing it for months.
In an effort to try and remove some of the daily stress from our lives (mine and Abby's), I decided it was time to simplify things. I rescheduled a bunch of doctors appointments that were coming up and spaced them all out. There is no reason for us to be seeing multiple doctors every week. No reason. The only one we are still going to each week is the chiropractor that I started taking her to a few months ago. I am trying to just end it all together, but he has a funny way of always making me want to schedule another appointment for her... When we started she was going 3 times each week, but we are down to only once per week now, so we have cut down significantly. And I can take her on the day he stays late, so that way Anthony will be home and I don't need a babysitter for Spencer. I absolutely hate finding babysitters for that kid. Hate it. I can't stop taking Abby to her therapies, but I can stop attending them with her. We both need a break from each other and she needs a little more independence, so it works out for both of us. I drop her off and either run errands or go sit somewhere and read. (I hope my babysitters are ok with that! I just need some me time.) Another change is taking surface streets instead of the freeway on our way to therapy. It sounds silly, but it makes me feel less rushed.
I mentioned that last week I was reading a book. It was an amazing book, called "These Is My Words." I was completely obsessed with it. A group of friends from church started a book club a few months ago and this was the current selection. One of Spencer's babysitters gave it to me and suggested that I read it. The meeting was only five days away and I didn't plan on finishing it, but once I started, I just couldn't put it down. And I finished it in 5 days. FIVE DAYS. The girl who can't manage to squeeze out enough time in the morning to wash her hair or shave her legs more than twice a week read a novel in five days! (TMI? It's not as disgusting as it sounds. And just to be clear, I do shower more than twice a week :) ) I stayed up way too late at night and didn't get anything done around the house during those five days, but I READ A BOOK. I asked Anthony if he had ever seen someone so obsessed with a book before. He laughed and said, "Only 13 year-old girls and 'Harry Potter''. Ouch... But I didn't care. I was really into this story. When I wasn't reading, I was thinking about the characters. When I say obsessed, I really mean obsessed. It turned out to be kind of a bad thing for me though. The book didn't end the way I would have liked and I cried about it for 2 days. I felt ridiculous for being so emotional about a book, but I was so caught up in this story that I felt like I was the one going through those experiences. Anthony and I decided that I am too emotionally unstable for books right now. I was so desperate to escape my own reality, and I think that's why I was so obsessed with it. But the ending was just too much for me to handle. I think I would like reading it again (along with the two other books in the series) in a couple years. For now we've decided it is probably best for me to just stick to the conference talks (addresses from our Church leaders) and self-help books that I was trying to read before I was given this book. Ha! How sad! But for all of you normal people out there, I highly recommend it. It really is a good book.
Father's Day was last week. Anthony finally got a grill and he is pretty excited about it. We took the kids to Home Depot on Saturday and helped him pick it out. He didn't waste any time once we got home with it - he opened up the box and started putting it together right in the living room. Cute boy. For dinner on Sunday we had lemon chicken shish-kabobs. I never knew raw meat could look so pretty!
(For those of you who know me well, you know how much I hate handling raw meat. But I did it, for my hubby. He's pretty special.)
Spencer has been pretty cute with Abby lately. He gives her real hugs and real kisses - and each time he does something sweet, he makes this high-pitched squeal/giggle, like he is so proud of himself for doing it. Although, it sounds more like something that should come from a girl.... It's the same sound that he makes when he gets hold of Abby's hand in the car. The other day he sat down in one of Abby's baby doll strollers. Abby immediately grabbed the handle and wanted to push him.
I stood her up and was going to help her walk to push him, but she wouldn't let me support her. So I let go and she took one small step on her own.
In an effort to try and remove some of the daily stress from our lives (mine and Abby's), I decided it was time to simplify things. I rescheduled a bunch of doctors appointments that were coming up and spaced them all out. There is no reason for us to be seeing multiple doctors every week. No reason. The only one we are still going to each week is the chiropractor that I started taking her to a few months ago. I am trying to just end it all together, but he has a funny way of always making me want to schedule another appointment for her... When we started she was going 3 times each week, but we are down to only once per week now, so we have cut down significantly. And I can take her on the day he stays late, so that way Anthony will be home and I don't need a babysitter for Spencer. I absolutely hate finding babysitters for that kid. Hate it. I can't stop taking Abby to her therapies, but I can stop attending them with her. We both need a break from each other and she needs a little more independence, so it works out for both of us. I drop her off and either run errands or go sit somewhere and read. (I hope my babysitters are ok with that! I just need some me time.) Another change is taking surface streets instead of the freeway on our way to therapy. It sounds silly, but it makes me feel less rushed.
I mentioned that last week I was reading a book. It was an amazing book, called "These Is My Words." I was completely obsessed with it. A group of friends from church started a book club a few months ago and this was the current selection. One of Spencer's babysitters gave it to me and suggested that I read it. The meeting was only five days away and I didn't plan on finishing it, but once I started, I just couldn't put it down. And I finished it in 5 days. FIVE DAYS. The girl who can't manage to squeeze out enough time in the morning to wash her hair or shave her legs more than twice a week read a novel in five days! (TMI? It's not as disgusting as it sounds. And just to be clear, I do shower more than twice a week :) ) I stayed up way too late at night and didn't get anything done around the house during those five days, but I READ A BOOK. I asked Anthony if he had ever seen someone so obsessed with a book before. He laughed and said, "Only 13 year-old girls and 'Harry Potter''. Ouch... But I didn't care. I was really into this story. When I wasn't reading, I was thinking about the characters. When I say obsessed, I really mean obsessed. It turned out to be kind of a bad thing for me though. The book didn't end the way I would have liked and I cried about it for 2 days. I felt ridiculous for being so emotional about a book, but I was so caught up in this story that I felt like I was the one going through those experiences. Anthony and I decided that I am too emotionally unstable for books right now. I was so desperate to escape my own reality, and I think that's why I was so obsessed with it. But the ending was just too much for me to handle. I think I would like reading it again (along with the two other books in the series) in a couple years. For now we've decided it is probably best for me to just stick to the conference talks (addresses from our Church leaders) and self-help books that I was trying to read before I was given this book. Ha! How sad! But for all of you normal people out there, I highly recommend it. It really is a good book.
Father's Day was last week. Anthony finally got a grill and he is pretty excited about it. We took the kids to Home Depot on Saturday and helped him pick it out. He didn't waste any time once we got home with it - he opened up the box and started putting it together right in the living room. Cute boy. For dinner on Sunday we had lemon chicken shish-kabobs. I never knew raw meat could look so pretty!
Spencer has been pretty cute with Abby lately. He gives her real hugs and real kisses - and each time he does something sweet, he makes this high-pitched squeal/giggle, like he is so proud of himself for doing it. Although, it sounds more like something that should come from a girl.... It's the same sound that he makes when he gets hold of Abby's hand in the car. The other day he sat down in one of Abby's baby doll strollers. Abby immediately grabbed the handle and wanted to push him.
I just finished reading this book this morning, and I cried and cried about the ending, too!! Although, it took me 2 weeks to read :) I did really like the book, but it was definitely a little intense....always something happening :)
ReplyDeleteLove u guys!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteI love this post!! Truly honest! This is why I love you! You ARE AMAZING!!
ReplyDelete"Seek heavenly guidance, ONE day at a time. Life by the YARD is HARD, by the INCH it's a CINCH". (pPres. Thomas S. Monson)
i feel for you try going for walks when your husband is home or try going together just to get out by yourself maybe try to let abby do things by yourself if she falls she falls the Lord will guide you pray about what can be done to help you and abby im not trying to tell you what to do im trying to help you love you lots
ReplyDeleteKaralee, when I was reading this I just kept thinking that I needed to comment and tell you that you are an amazing Mom and you can do this! I can't even imagine what your daily trials are and how your patience is being tested. RJ tests my patience daily and he can talk/cry. Being a Mother is hard enough and to add the new trials you are facing will of course test you and push you to your limits. I think its great you are trying to "simplify" and spread things out. Hopefully this will help you feel less stressed! I also think it's wonderful that you are realizing you need your own time....Abby will be just fine alone in therapy and you have to have that time to yourself! Us Mom's really need some alone time...even if it's just sitting in a room and doing nothing. We need to step back and relax with no kids around. I think paying a babysitter to run errands or do what you want to do is totally worth it! It's so hard to take your kids with you everywhere!! I agree with the comment above mine, if she falls she falls....she will be ok and maybe that will help her learn what she can and can't do and maybe it will help her focus and try harder the next time!
ReplyDeleteI must say These is My Words is one of my all time favorite books! The fact that you cried and became obsessed with the book is not abnormal...I do it all the time! Whenever I finish a book I always think about it for a days after. I did enjoy the other two books and even thought I read them a few years ago I don't remember them being as intense as the first book. It's good to have an outlet where you can think of something other than your own situation....I always seem to read more when life is hard. The one thing I always loved about this book is how strong Sarah was. To think of all of the loss and hardship she went through and she always held her head up and did her best. What a great example to all of us! I always say I could NEVER be a pioneer...talk about a hard life.
There was more I wanted to say but now I can't remember! lol. Just know that I think of you often, I pray for you often and I know that Heavenly Father has a special plan for you and your family!!!
Love ya girl!
I am glad I am not alone in my rushed showers, limited hair washing and leg shaving! Karalee, I think about you all the time. Like Amanda, I am inspired by your faith and patience because I too, cannot even imagine what you are going through on a daily basis. But I love simplifying. I feel like keeping things simple is almost always happier. It's probably always something we can work on, but I really hope you are successul. I wish I could come over . . . those play dates of ours must seem like a lifetime ago. Please know that you and Abby are in my thoughts and prayers. Love you!
ReplyDelete