Well, it's official. It has been one year since our sweet Abby underwent emergency surgery on her brain after an unexpected AVM rupture. If you would like a refresher on what exactly happened to her, you can read her story here. If you feel like crying some more, you can watch the birthday video I made for her here.
And now to reveal our special plans...
A few months ago I sent an email to the Ronald McDonald House in San Diego where we stayed while Abby was in the ICU. I wanted to play the piano for the house guests during one of the meals and thought it would be a great thing to do the weekend of Abby's year-mark. I felt very strongly about this. It was one of those things that was nagging at me for several days until I finally sent my request. The San Diego Ronald McDonald House is amazing. They provide 3 meals each day (all prepared and served by volunteers) and have large pantries and refrigerators stocked with more food that has been donated, which is free for anyone who is staying there. Amazing. Several times there was entertainment during those meals and a few times that entertainment was in the form of beautiful music being played on their baby grand piano. One particular performance moved me to tears. I usually cried during meals there anyway, but this time I wasn't sad. For a few minutes I no longer hurt. I was just enjoying good food and listening to beautiful music. I knew that one day I wanted to come back and play that piano. I didn't hear back from the RMH for a couple months after I sent that email. During that time I decided it was probably a bad idea anyway and figured it would be way too hard for me to actually be back in SAN DIEGO for Abby's year-mark. But over Easter weekend, I received an email confirming that I would be playing during lunch on Saturday, May 19th. I was still excited to play, but not excited about my 'great idea' to do it on that particular day.
So, on Thursday evening we packed up our kids and headed for San Diego (this time in a much roomier vehicle. Thank you Abby for forcing us to get a bigger car!) Spencer looked like such a big boy eating his dinner in the car (grilled cheese from In-N-Out...yum!).
I still keep in touch with one of Abby's amazing ICU nurses and made arrangements for us to meet up with her at the beach on Friday morning. This visit turned out to be exactly what I needed. Once again, Tracy helped bring out the positive and got me out of my slump. She kept going on about how well Abby is doing and how far she has come, and how it has only been a year. I am so glad we had this visit on our first day in San Diego. Tracy helped me change my entire attitude. It's only been a year, and Abby is amazing. Thank you Tracy, we LOVE you!
It was pretty cold when we first got to the beach, but Abby and Spencer loved the sand. Abby loved it so much that she kept trying to eat it... We took the kids down to the water to get their feet wet. I think Abby liked it, but Spencer didn't want anything to do with it! He was pretty upset about getting cold water on his toes and wouldn't let me put him down for a good 10 minutes after that. Funny kid. After the water fiasco we searched the sand for sea shells and then spent the rest of the time on the play ground.
That night Anthony and I were able to do a session at the San Diego Temple, while my parents stayed home with the kids. I love that temple - it is so beautiful. It's where we were married and will always be a special place. We enjoyed the time away together.
The next morning we got everyone ready and headed down to the Ronald McDonald House. Driving down the highway, Rady Children's Hospital just sort of appears around a bend. When I saw it pop up around the turn, my eyes started to sting, but I didn't cry. It felt very weird to pull into that parking garage. And it felt even weirder to walk into the RMH, where we lived for 4 weeks. It still smelled the same. But I thoroughly enjoyed playing my songs for an hour and a half while the house guests ate their lunch. It was really fun. I think I just might do it every year.
And for all of our San Diego family and friends, if you ever want to do something in Abby's honor, please donate to the Ronald McDonald House. You can find more information about how to help here.
We spent the rest of the day with members of both our families and several times I was reminded about how much progress Abby has made in just a year.
Sunday was THE day, May 20th. It started off nice. We attended stake conference with my parents and Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles was there. It was pretty cool seeing him in person and not on a TV screen. I enjoyed the bits and pieces I heard of his talk....church is hard with two little kids! I looked at the clock a lot during the rest of the afternoon, but I was ok. I thought for sure the drive home that evening would be the hardest part, but it wasn't bad at all. I remembered the things that happened a year ago that day, but somehow I was numb to it all. It didn't make me sad or depressed like it did leading up to this day. It was almost like I was able to shut the door and move on. The past is the past and I can't change it. Abby is who she is and that's fine. Progress takes time and it has only been a year. As the sun went down I remembered that the last time we drove home from San Diego, Abby was not in the car. She had flown to Phoenix Children's Hospital in a medical chopper once she was stable enough to leave the ICU. Anthony and I drove home with just Spencer. That was probably the longest drive home we have ever made. I was clutching my phone, waiting for the call from the transport team to let me know they had landed and everything went well. I was so glad that this time around, we were all traveling TOGETHER, and going home TOGETHER. At one point we heard Spencer giggling and turned around to find the two of them holding hands across the back seat. So sweet! I am relieved to have this weekend behind us. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be, thanks to Tracy, and thanks to our busy itinerary. We were constantly doing something or getting ready to do something and that helped keep my mind occupied. It's only been a year, Abby, and we can't wait to see what this next year will bring!
"Don't hyperventilate about something that happened at 9:00 in the morning when the grace of God is trying to reward you at 6:00 in the evening"
-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
It's all about perspective.
And now to reveal our special plans...
A few months ago I sent an email to the Ronald McDonald House in San Diego where we stayed while Abby was in the ICU. I wanted to play the piano for the house guests during one of the meals and thought it would be a great thing to do the weekend of Abby's year-mark. I felt very strongly about this. It was one of those things that was nagging at me for several days until I finally sent my request. The San Diego Ronald McDonald House is amazing. They provide 3 meals each day (all prepared and served by volunteers) and have large pantries and refrigerators stocked with more food that has been donated, which is free for anyone who is staying there. Amazing. Several times there was entertainment during those meals and a few times that entertainment was in the form of beautiful music being played on their baby grand piano. One particular performance moved me to tears. I usually cried during meals there anyway, but this time I wasn't sad. For a few minutes I no longer hurt. I was just enjoying good food and listening to beautiful music. I knew that one day I wanted to come back and play that piano. I didn't hear back from the RMH for a couple months after I sent that email. During that time I decided it was probably a bad idea anyway and figured it would be way too hard for me to actually be back in SAN DIEGO for Abby's year-mark. But over Easter weekend, I received an email confirming that I would be playing during lunch on Saturday, May 19th. I was still excited to play, but not excited about my 'great idea' to do it on that particular day.
So, on Thursday evening we packed up our kids and headed for San Diego (this time in a much roomier vehicle. Thank you Abby for forcing us to get a bigger car!) Spencer looked like such a big boy eating his dinner in the car (grilled cheese from In-N-Out...yum!).
I still keep in touch with one of Abby's amazing ICU nurses and made arrangements for us to meet up with her at the beach on Friday morning. This visit turned out to be exactly what I needed. Once again, Tracy helped bring out the positive and got me out of my slump. She kept going on about how well Abby is doing and how far she has come, and how it has only been a year. I am so glad we had this visit on our first day in San Diego. Tracy helped me change my entire attitude. It's only been a year, and Abby is amazing. Thank you Tracy, we LOVE you!
It was pretty cold when we first got to the beach, but Abby and Spencer loved the sand. Abby loved it so much that she kept trying to eat it... We took the kids down to the water to get their feet wet. I think Abby liked it, but Spencer didn't want anything to do with it! He was pretty upset about getting cold water on his toes and wouldn't let me put him down for a good 10 minutes after that. Funny kid. After the water fiasco we searched the sand for sea shells and then spent the rest of the time on the play ground.
That night Anthony and I were able to do a session at the San Diego Temple, while my parents stayed home with the kids. I love that temple - it is so beautiful. It's where we were married and will always be a special place. We enjoyed the time away together.
The next morning we got everyone ready and headed down to the Ronald McDonald House. Driving down the highway, Rady Children's Hospital just sort of appears around a bend. When I saw it pop up around the turn, my eyes started to sting, but I didn't cry. It felt very weird to pull into that parking garage. And it felt even weirder to walk into the RMH, where we lived for 4 weeks. It still smelled the same. But I thoroughly enjoyed playing my songs for an hour and a half while the house guests ate their lunch. It was really fun. I think I just might do it every year.
And for all of our San Diego family and friends, if you ever want to do something in Abby's honor, please donate to the Ronald McDonald House. You can find more information about how to help here.
We spent the rest of the day with members of both our families and several times I was reminded about how much progress Abby has made in just a year.
Sunday was THE day, May 20th. It started off nice. We attended stake conference with my parents and Elder L. Tom Perry of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles was there. It was pretty cool seeing him in person and not on a TV screen. I enjoyed the bits and pieces I heard of his talk....church is hard with two little kids! I looked at the clock a lot during the rest of the afternoon, but I was ok. I thought for sure the drive home that evening would be the hardest part, but it wasn't bad at all. I remembered the things that happened a year ago that day, but somehow I was numb to it all. It didn't make me sad or depressed like it did leading up to this day. It was almost like I was able to shut the door and move on. The past is the past and I can't change it. Abby is who she is and that's fine. Progress takes time and it has only been a year. As the sun went down I remembered that the last time we drove home from San Diego, Abby was not in the car. She had flown to Phoenix Children's Hospital in a medical chopper once she was stable enough to leave the ICU. Anthony and I drove home with just Spencer. That was probably the longest drive home we have ever made. I was clutching my phone, waiting for the call from the transport team to let me know they had landed and everything went well. I was so glad that this time around, we were all traveling TOGETHER, and going home TOGETHER. At one point we heard Spencer giggling and turned around to find the two of them holding hands across the back seat. So sweet! I am relieved to have this weekend behind us. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be, thanks to Tracy, and thanks to our busy itinerary. We were constantly doing something or getting ready to do something and that helped keep my mind occupied. It's only been a year, Abby, and we can't wait to see what this next year will bring!
"Don't hyperventilate about something that happened at 9:00 in the morning when the grace of God is trying to reward you at 6:00 in the evening"
-Elder Jeffrey R. Holland
It's all about perspective.
I wish I had known you were going to be here! It sounds like you kept plenty busy, but I sure would have loved to see you! I am grateful you had a good weekend and past this year mark in high spirits. Miss you, but so glad you are doing well.
ReplyDeleteWow. You are just more amazing. It is all about perspective, in all things. I wish Abby to get better as this year goes on!
ReplyDeleteOk so now that I've wiped the tears and snot off my face (and washed my hands, hehe) I have to share what an honor it is to be in the Carranza family's life! You guys are all amazing, true embodiment of moving forward, progression, and unconditional love. Karalee, your commitment to sharing your experience is beyond inspirational, your dedication to Abby's therapy is why after ONLY A YEAR! she has come so far! Abby's hard work and dedication to figuring out how to get things done is proof of her passionate, playful character and hard working attitude! Spencer's joy and non-reluctance to challenge his big sister will keep her on her toes, and Anthony's support and appreciation of his family helps provide the stability necessary for successful progress. You guys rock! Thank you for reaching out to me on your San Diego trip and I look forward to the next one!
ReplyDelete